The Secret to Staying Calm When the Spotlight’s On You (especially when speaking in public)

I’ve worked with many managers and team leaders over the years, but Alex stands out. Alex is a conscientious, steady leader, someone who runs a team with precision, reliability, and trusted care. 

On the surface, everything looks smooth. Deadlines are met, projects run on track, and team members respect Alex’s approach. But when it came to public speaking and giving presentations, leading meetings, or being in the spotlight, a different story unfolded. 

Anxiety would spike in him, thoughts raced, and self-doubt crept in. The fear of judgment and the risk of reputational damage often felt overwhelming.

When Alex first came to me to overcome his fear of public speaking, the challenge was clear: despite being highly capable, he lost composure under pressure, which affected his influence, credibility, and confidence. 

Alex would over-prepare, rehearse endlessly, and overthink every scenario, but in the moment, all that preparation couldn’t stop the inner critic from taking over. You could see it in his hesitation, the tension in this posture, and the subtle, uncomfortable pauses that revealed a mind caught in spirals of “what ifs.”

We started by identifying the triggers. For Alex, three things consistently hijacked composure were: self-criticism, overthinking, and focusing too much on the problem rather than the solution. 

We explored how these tendencies amplified uncertainty and created a disconnect from the audience. It wasn’t about skill or knowledge; Alex knew the content inside out and upside down. For Alex, it was about being present and managing the internal narrative that blocked his confidence.

Our first steps were simple but deliberate. Alex began practising anchoring in the body and noticing the breath. These mindfulness techniques might seem small, but they provide a physiological reset that reduces the fight-or-flight response. 

When a question came unexpectedly or the stakes felt high, Alex could pause, notice tension, and regain focus by composing himself.

Next, we tackled overthinking and self-criticism. Alex learned to shift focus from problems to outcomes. Instead of obsessing over what could go wrong, we practised asking: “What do I want my audience to take away? What’s the key message?” 

This reframing transformed anxiety into actionable clarity. Over time, Alex started to see that uncertainty wasn’t an enemy but a natural part of leadership that could be navigated with composure.

Of course, the transformation wasn’t instant. Alex faced tests along the way, team meetings where the mind tried to spiral, client presentations that triggered old fears, and moments where self-doubt surfaced despite preparation. 

But with each experience, Alex practised responding instead of reacting. The inner critic became quieter, and presence became stronger. You could see the difference: grounded posture, calm voice, and a measured pace.

The breakthrough came during a particularly high-stakes presentation to a client and senior stakeholders. Normally, Alex would have felt frozen under the pressure. This time, though, they leaned into the skills we practised: breathing, grounding in the body, focusing on outcomes, and staying present. 

When challenging questions came, Alex answered with clarity, maintained eye contact, and projected confidence. Composure returned, and with it, influence. The message landed, the audience engaged, and Alex experienced first-hand how presence can transform performance.

Since then, Alex has applied these techniques to daily leadership: running team meetings, presenting updates to clients, and mentoring others. The fear of judgment hasn’t disappeared, but it no longer dictates actions. Alex’s growth demonstrates a vital lesson for conscientious and steady leaders: composure isn’t about eliminating fear, it’s about managing it effectively.

What makes this transformation powerful is that it’s repeatable and teachable. By learning to anchor in the body, manage self-critical thoughts, focus on outcomes, and stay present, any manager or team leader can turn pressure into performance. 

For those who naturally lean toward conscientiousness and steadiness, these skills are particularly important; they allow you to show up fully, lead effectively, and maintain influence, even under scrutiny.

Alex’s journey illustrates a core truth of leadership: true confidence isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence under pressure when public speaking or in everyday conversations. 

By taking small, deliberate steps to regain composure, managers like Alex can unlock clarity, connection, and credibility. And for those who have been trapped by overthinking or fear of judgment, it’s a path worth pursuing, one meeting, one presentation, and one confident moment at a time.