Meeting Anxiety And Why Your Mind Might Be Hijacking Your Confidence

You know the feeling. The room is buzzing with unspoken expectation, the air feels heavy, and all eyes are about to be on you. You’ve prepared. Maybe even over-prepared. Yet when it’s your turn to speak, your carefully crafted points start slipping through your fingers.

Instead of clarity, your words come out tangled. Instead of connection, you feel yourself losing the room.

And then the spiral begins:
“I should have prepared better. I should have said this. I should have done that.”

Another meeting didn’t go the way you wanted it to. Another dent in your reputation.

But let’s pause here.

Is this really about your delivery? Is it really about the facts and figures you shared? Or is it about how you showed up, your ability to compose yourself, step into confidence, and share your message with clarity?

The Trap of Future-Focused Thinking

One of the biggest issues I see in public speaking and meeting coaching is this: instead of being present and grounded, we’re stuck in the future.

We imagine everything that could go wrong.
We anticipate disappointment, judgment, or embarrassment.
And because those fears feel real, we walk into the meeting already carrying failure on our shoulders, even before a word leaves our mouths.

The truth is, when we’re trapped in this loop, we’re not actually engaging with the moment. We’re rehearsing a fantasy of failure. And it sabotages our ability to show up as our best selves.

Why We Get What We Focus On

Here’s the paradox: the more we try not to think about failure, the more failure dominates our focus.

It’s like trying not to think about an apple. The moment you resist, your brain serves up image after image of shiny red or green fruit.

In the same way, if your inner dialogue is: “Hopefully I don’t disappoint,” your mind zeroes in on disappointment.

And what you focus on shapes how you feel, how you speak, and how others perceive you.

Shifting Into Composure

So how do you break the cycle?

The first step is to practice mindfulness. Notice where your self-talk is leading you. Is it setting you up with visions of failure, or is it priming you for connection and success?

The second step is to return to reality as it is, not the fantasy of failure, but the present moment. You want to be both realistic about what could trip you up and intentional about what will set you up for success.

Think of it like preparing for a beach trip:

• Sure, you’ll pack sunscreen, a hat, maybe a gazebo for shade. That’s smart.
  

• But you’ll also bring a ball to kick around, a float for the water, good drinks, and great company.
  

If you only think about the sunburns, stings, and sand in your shoes, you’ll never enjoy the day.

The same goes for public speaking and meetings. Prepare for the challenges, yes, but also prepare for the successes you want to create.

Building Your Reputation Through Mindful Preparation

Here’s a question worth asking yourself: What’s on your preparation list when it comes to meetings or public speaking?

Most people have plenty of “pitfalls” in mind, what they don’t want to happen. But fewer have a clear picture of the “successes” they’d like to achieve.

I recommend making two lists:

1. Pitfalls: The things most likely to derail you. (e.g. rambling, freezing, forgetting points)
   

2. Successes: The outcomes you want to create. (e.g. clear delivery, strong presence, audience engagement)
   

With both in hand, you can prepare in a balanced way: minimise the threats, maximise the successes.

Because in the end, public speaking and meetings aren’t just about what you say, they’re about how you show up. Confidence, clarity, and composure are the foundations of building your reputation and credibility.

Create your Shift

Meeting anxiety doesn’t have to run the show when you are public speaking. When you shift from fear-driven preparation to mindful preparation, you move from merely “getting through” a meeting to owning the room.

So the next time that heavy air of expectation settles in, ask yourself: Am I showing up trapped in my fantasies of failure, or am I here, present, composed, and ready to connect?

That choice makes all the difference.

Ready to Change the Way You Show Up?

If meeting anxiety is holding you back, let’s start a conversation about how you can overcome this hurdle and become great at public speaking. With the right tools, you can shift from anxious to confident in under 90 days and finally start building the reputation you deserve.