Racing through is costing you the room. Slow down, pause and paint the picture that sticks.
In sessions with clients, in workshops with teams and in the stories people bring me, I keep meeting the same quietly brilliant person wearing different faces. They know their material outright and can talk your ear off when they are one to one with you, and still, their stomach drops when it’s time to stand up and present in front of others.
Let me share this, what I think is a very relatable example of Paul. It’s 9.30am on a Tuesday morning, Paul stands in front of the meeting room, remote in hand, the Power Point slide is glowing behind him and his heart pumping out of his chest.
He rehearsed this presentation four times last night and checked the numbers twice more in the lift on the way up. And now, when the moment matters his voice comes out a half-step quieter than planned and he notices, his eyes are glued to the laptop involuntarily avoiding eye contact with the room.
If you’re a Paul, then you are most likely a careful, thorough and dependable character. You’d rather let your actions speak for you than be noticed by others, and the thought of getting it wrong in front of everyone sits in your chest like a heavy stone about to drop.
Because the limelight isn’t your natural habitat, so your mind does what it does best in these moments: it prepares, double-checks and scans for errors and threats - constantly!
Meanwhile, your nerves increase and a sense of urgency creeps in, your speaking pace speeds up, and you rush to get it over and done with and the room feels every bit of it. Immediately afterwards you replay each wobble in your mind while the team nods politely without taking much of what you are sharing onboard.
And that’s the hidden cost of lost composure I see in an overwhelming amount of leaders. A well-prepared project manager who can’t move the people he leads when it matters most.
Imagine the opposite for a moment. You are walking into the meeting room to give your presentation to the team, you are feeling your feet resting firmly on the floor, grounding you, and pausing for a beat before you begin to speak, effectively building up anticipation in the room.
How good would it be to say one clear, strong sentence to kick off your presentation and watch heads lift? You feel the energy flow back and forth throughout the room instead of draining away and the meeting feels like a success? Here’s the secret: the data is never what pulls people in. Your state and energy is.
What would happen if you start with composure every time you speak? See, nerves aren’t a flaw in your preparation, they’re pinned up energy with nowhere to go. You can’t delete or ignore them, but you can direct them. A slower breath, a grounded stance and a deliberate pause tell your nervous system, and everyone else in the room for that matter, that you’re in control and that what you have to share matters.
From that place, you begin to direct your focus more effectively. Careful minds scan for what could go wrong, that is normal, just like seeing the pedestrian standing at the sidewalk, while you are turning the corner. It's part of the environment you're in but nothing to worry about.
Aim your attention on your outcome instead, at the people in front of you instead of being in your mind, entertaining ideas of how the imaginary pedestrian is judging your driving, if you catch my metaphor.
Finally, go ahead and paint one clear picture that sticks in your audience's mind long after your presentation is finished. You don’t need twelve data points to land a message. Lead with one brief sentence that hits home, say for example: “By Friday, we’ll have the client approved and the build on track so we can focus on the next chapter and here is how I propose we do this."
Paint the picture first, then add the detail to back up the picture.
And look, you don’t need to become a TED speaker by Thursday, or ever. What you need is tiny reps everyday and repeat them again and again to build more confidence.
One breath before you begin your next public speaking engagement, the headline before the detail, eye contact with one or two people while you finish a sentence, then a brief pause to let it all sink in.
Each takes seconds, and they compound over time. Your presence in the room isn’t a personality transplant. It’s repetition, and it’s well within reach.
Your daily habit builder: The 3-breath headline
You can do this in under a minute, in any meeting room or on Zoom.
Step 1: Feet and breath. Feel your feet on the floor and take one slow breath out, longer than the breath in and settle your focus.
Step 2: Write one headline. Finish this sentence: “The one thing I want them to leave with is...” Keep it under ten words.
Step 3: Open with it. Pause and breath. Then, look at one person, and say your headline before rolling into your presentation.
Remember, nothing comes from nothing. We are the accumulation of our choices. Every small, steady repetition builds the presence and reputation you want in the room.
So next time you feel that rush of urgency before you speak, ask yourself: what’s the one thing I want this room to feel, and am I giving it to them?