Don’t Let ‘What If’s’ Decide Your Outcome, do this instead…

If you’ve ever stood in the hall before a presentation, or sat on the edge of your chair in a difficult conversation, you know the feeling: a tightness in your chest, your mind racing, and a creeping sense that the moment will expose you.

What many people don’t realise is that the pressure isn’t coming from the room. It’s coming from inside their own head.

And it’s not just “nerves.” It’s expectation, self-generated expectation.

The kind that builds quietly, then becomes heavy enough to collapse your performance before you even start.

I see it in clients all the time. Allow me to share two stories with you, because a; they’re so common, and b; because they reveal how quickly this pressure can become a habit.

The first story I want to share is from Steve, a high-performing leader. Intelligent, experienced, and well respected within the team.

But before every presentation or any public speaking moment, his mind would flood with one question:

“What if I can’t deliver?”

It wasn’t just anxiety. It was a deep fear that he would suddenly lose control, forget his points, or stumble and be seen as “less than.”

The worst part? He never spoke about it clearly.

He kept it vague.
He kept it tucked away.
He called it “ah I just have nerves, again.”

So the fear lived in the shadows of his mind, big enough to distort reality, but never named.

And because it was never named, Steve was never able to manage his fear of public speaking.

Steve’s body would react like his brain was preparing for danger. His heart rate would spike, his thoughts would spiral, and he’d go into the presentation carrying the weight of a future that hadn’t happened.

But once Steve learned to control his self-talk, everything changed, nearly instantly.

He started with one simple question:

“What am I actually afraid of?”

Then he walked the fear all the way to the end:

• What if I forget a point?
  
  

• Then what?
  
  

• Will the meeting collapse?
  
  

• Will I be fired?
  
  

• Will I lose respect?
  
  

He kept walking until he reached the real truth:

Even if I make a mistake, I can recover.
I will adjust.
I will stay present and I will manage the moment.

That’s where uncertainty becomes capability.

Once he could see the path from fear to action to outcome, the weight lifted.

He stopped rehearsing failure and started rehearsing delivery.

Another story to show you how managing the fear of public speaking is easier than you may think is about a former client of mine Rina.Rina is ambitious, talented, and deeply capable. 

She had all the tools to succeed.

But before every presentation, she would shrink.

Not because she didn’t know her material, she did. Not because she wasn’t prepared, she always was.

Her fear was different. Rina was terrified of being judged.

She worried that people would look at her and see the wrong thing.

She didn’t want to be misunderstood.
She didn’t want to be underestimated.
She didn’t want her potential to be overlooked.

So she carried a second fear:
What if they don’t see who I really am and the work I put into this?

And because she didn’t clearly name that fear, it lived, like Steve, in the vague shadows.

She would show up with her thoughts scattered, her energy drained, and her focus on the wrong thing:

Not the message. Not the outcome. Not the delivery.

But on how she would be seen.

Again, once Rina learned to walk into the fear and through it, she became unstoppable.

She started by acknowledging what was really happening:

“I’m not afraid of the presentation. I’m afraid of being judged.”

Then she followed it through:

• If they judge me, what does that mean?
  
  

• Does it define my worth?
  
  

• Does it mean I’m not capable?
  
  

• Or does it mean they are making a decision about me that I can’t control?
  
  

The answer was clear:

Judgment is not a reflection of my capability, it’s a reflection of my interpretation of their perception.

Once this insight clicked, she stopped giving her audience control over her confidence.

She replaced uncertainty with certainty.

She replaced fear with focus.

And she stopped carrying the weight of expectation.

The Common Thread: Vague Fear of Public Speaking  vs. Clear and Uncut Reality As It Is.

Both Steve and Rina were suffering in the same way:

They were afraid of the shadows on the walls of their minds.

They weren’t afraid of the presentation itself. They were afraid of what might happen.

And because they never named the fear, they never had a chance to manage it.

The moment they started controlling their self-talk and walking into the fear, everything shifted.

They turned:

• uncertainty to capability
  
  

• doubt to clarity
  
  

• expectation to high performance
  
  

And they began focusing on what actually matters:

The delivery.
The outcome.
The impact.

If you, just like Steve and Rina carry the weight of expectation within you mind then know this:

You’re not alone.
Most people do this.

But the weight doesn’t have to define your performance.

You can learn to control your self-talk.
You can walk the fear to the end.
You can replace uncertainty with certainty.

And you can step into the room with confidence, because you’re not carrying your future on your back anymore.

If you want to go deeper and learn how to turn uncertainty into capability consistently, get in touch. Our training is built for people who want real change, not quick fixes.